


moving on (and taking my heart with me)

by SinginInTheRaine



Category: DC Extended Universe
Genre: F/F, Grief/Mourning, Post-Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, fuck to forget
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 23:40:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18292523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinginInTheRaine/pseuds/SinginInTheRaine
Summary: “I don’t know how you do it.”The words were in a whisper, just barely audible above the noise of people shuffling slightly, of other people sniffling, of the sound of a coffin lowered into the ground and a shovel full of dirt placed on top.Diana didn’t turn her head, just shifted her eyes to look upon Lois, who was still staring straight ahead, watching every movement of those sealing Clark below the surface.“It doesn’t get easier,” Diana whispered back.





	moving on (and taking my heart with me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GlassesOfJustice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassesOfJustice/gifts).



“I don’t know how you do it.”

The words were in a whisper, just barely audible above the noise of people shuffling slightly, of other people sniffling, of the sound of a coffin lowered into the ground and a shovel full of dirt placed on top.

Diana didn’t turn her head, just shifted her eyes to look upon Lois, who was still staring straight ahead, watching every movement of those sealing Clark below the surface.

“It doesn’t get easier,” Diana whispered back, her voice no louder than Lois’ was. 

The crowd around them seemed to shift closer as the shovels of dirt moved faster. Diana took advantage of the moment to shift just that much closer, to reach out across the miniscule distance and touch Lois’ fingers.

She felt Lois’ fingers curve just so around hers, and Diana knew she had heard her.

•••

They mostly drank in silence, sitting up on the roof of Lois’ apartment building, overlooking all of National City. Some days, it was the whiskey. Others day, a nice bottle of wine.

Sometimes they talked, small talk about Lois’ newest assignment or Diana’s past adventures. For the longest time they steered clear of the entire reason Diana was up there with Lois — to make sure she was okay, to make sure she didn’t have to grieve alone.

They never talked about Clark. They especially never talked about Bruce, even though Diana saw him a few times a week, even though he asked repeatedly how Lois was. They never talked about how Diana listened out for people in trouble now, how Diana was the one to save the ones who Clark would have saved.

Lois wasn’t ready for that yet, and Diana understood. Lois didn’t ask her any more about Steve Trevor, and Diana didn’t offer. She didn’t have to. She just took a sip of her whiskey or her wine and let her fingers brush by Lois’, reminding her that she was there, for whatever and whenever she needed.

•••

It had been three months since Clark was killed, three months since Diana had been coming to visit Lois, when Lois kissed her for the first time. They had been sitting together, much as they always did, up on the rooftop of Lois’ apartment building, looking out over National City.

“He would be glad you’re here with me,” Lois had whispered as she barely sipped her wine. She had been even quieter than usual until then. “He was always worried about leaving me, even though I always told him I was just fine.”

“Of course you were,” Diana had replied. “And still are. You’re braver than anyone I know.”

“You know superheroes.”

“Yes,” Diana said, “I do.” And she had turned her head and looked into Lois’ eyes for what felt like the very first time, and for the very first time Lois wasn’t looking back at her like the grieving fiancée of Clark Kent or the friend who just needed companionship. She was looking at her like something else. Like something more.

And then Lois kissed her.

•••

They barely made it off the roof and back into Lois’ apartment before clothes were shed. Hands tugged at hair. Lips and tongues thrashed together. Thighs and knees dueled for dominance. They settled for Diana’s knee between Lois’ legs, with Lois grinding down as hard as she could. Lois’ fingers found their way between Diana’s legs, stroking her with almost a ruthless speed.

They groaned and moaned into each other’s mouths, bodies speeding up and slowing down in some sort of rhythm they didn’t have to think about. Nails clawed at skin, and sweat formed in droplets.

And then they came, first Lois and then Diana, crying out into each other’s mouths, releasing all the pain and the loneliness and everything else that was wrong with the world. And then they lay together on the hard wood floor of Lois’ living room, chests heaving, senses numb.

Until Lois leaned over and grabbed a wine bottle that Diana hadn’t even seen. She handed it to Diana who opened it without the help of a corkscrew and they took turns gulping it from the bottle.

“Do you think he’d still be glad I was here?” Diana asked as she took one last mouthful and handed the bottle to Lois to finish off.

Lois didn’t hesitate. 

“Yes,” she said.

•••

“Healing is a process,” Diana had always told people, although to none of them had she ever told the real truth of how she knew. “You’re ready when you’re ready.”

“I’m ready,” Lois finally said one day. 

It had been six months since Clark was killed, three months since Diana and Lois had been sleeping together. Quick fucks in the night to make themselves feel better. To make themselves forget for just a moment about who and what they were.

Lois hadn’t mentioned the new assignments she had been working on. Diana hadn’t mentioned that she and Bruce had talked about forming a group of superheroes to save the world.

They went together to the gravesite where Clark was buried. Lois knelt down beside it, traced her fingers through the dirt before placing her palm on the memorial stone.

“You know I’ll always love you,” she whispered, and Diana pretended not to hear.

They went back to Lois’ apartment and took shots of whiskey on the roof, then fucked each other senseless in Lois’ bed, the first time they hadn’t just had sex on the floor or on the couch or the kitchen table.

“I think maybe this might be real,” Lois said, as they lay together afterward, arms and legs entwined.

“I think maybe it might be too,” Diana said.

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” Lois smirked at her, and Diana felt a laugh bubble up inside her. A real laugh. A real joyous laugh. A reminder that sometimes things can be good.

“People will talk,” Diana said.

Lois smiled and traced her fingers across Diana’s breasts.

“I know,” she said. “Let them talk.”


End file.
